Written with my friend Copilot
Connection is something that’s talked a lot about in the neurodivergent community.
Connection plays a big role in both mental and physical health. Dr. Ned Hallowell calls connection “Vitamin C” because it’s so important. It can also raise levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. These help us feel calmer, happier, and more connected. Neurotransmitters are chemicals in the brain that help control how we feel and respond to the world.
Many people who are neurodivergent really want connection, but the social side can be hard for different reasons.
There are many ways to explain social skills, and not everyone who is neurodivergent finds them challenging in the same ways. (For more information on social skills challenges, click here). And you might hear lots of other fancy words used for them. For example, experts often call hidden signals and clues about what other people mean “nonverbal communication.”
But the main point is simple: connection can be hard for real reasons, not because someone doesn’t care.
Connection also isn’t just about one type of relationship. Different types of relationships can give you different types of support and opportunities to grow. Family can be wonderful, but friends, groups, and people in your community matter too.
I also focus on strengths, because strengths can help people overcome challenges.
Many neurodivergent people have deep interests and hobbies. These can be a powerful way to build connection in your community and get your dose of Vitamin C.
How can you get started?
Start by finding people who are interested in the same things as you. A shared interest can make connection feel easier, because you already have something to talk about.
For example:
- If you like trading card games like Magic: The Gathering or D&D, try a local game store, community center, or library with weekly games
- If you like to knit, sew, read, write, or make art, many community centers and libraries also have groups for those hobbies
Here’s a simple activity you can try to help you use your strengths to build new connections:
- Think about why you want more connections. Write it down where you can see it
- Think about what types of connections you’d like to make more of
- Brainstorm where and how you can make those new connections
- Decide on one way to start
It can be scary to put yourself out there, especially when you are going somewhere for the first time. And if you are someone who struggles to go places and likes a lot of alone time, that’s okay too.
To make it easier, you can:
- Have an accountability buddy, or someone to help make sure you follow through with your plan. This can be someone in your family, a friend, or a helping professional.
- Go with someone you know if you can.
- Practice a few conversation starters ahead of time.
- Prepare ahead of time so you know how you are getting there and what to expect.
Connection does not have to look one specific way. What matters most is finding people and places where you feel like you can be the best version of yourself.
Who knows? You might just find your tribe.
References
- Engelbrecht, N. (2023, October 25). Decoding autism in the DSM-5. Embrace Autism. https://embrace-autism.com/decoding-autism-in-the-dsm-5/
- Hallowell, E. (2018, April 27). Harnessing the Power of Vitamin Connect. Dr. Hallowell: The Hallowell ADHD Centers. https://drhallowell.com/2018/04/27/harnessing-the-power-of-vitamin-connect/
- Hallowell, E. M., & Ratey, J. J. (2021). ADHD 2.0: New science and essential strategies for thriving with distraction—from childhood through adulthood. Ballantine Books.
- Jethani, Z. (2025, February 5). The Neuroscience of Love and Connection. Pacific Neuroscience Institute. https://www.pacificneuroscienceinstitute.org/blog/brain-wellness-lifestyle/the-neuroscience-of-love-and-connection/
- Stiles, K. (2021, November 15). The Importance of Connection. PsychCentral. https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-connection
- The NVLD Project. (n.d.). What is Nonverbal Learning Disability? https://nvld.org/non-verbal-learning-disability/
- The NVLD Project. (n.d.). For Clinicians and Scientists. https://nvld.org/for-clinicians-and-scientists/
- The NVLD Project. (n.d.). Frequently Asked Questions. https://nvld.org/faqs/